A Good Time Was Bad By All

My partner returned on Wednesday night and it was really wonderful. I'd missed her and she'd missed me. We had a fantastic pork, ate tasty food and chewed the fat. It was a good time.

Tonight is the fourth night she has been back and it shall be the third night in a row that we do not share a bed. I couldn't do it. It's just too depressing and certain other crap emotions. I am quite upset at her. Certain ways of hers have been deeply frustrating me; some of them have even been seriously upsetting me. Maybe we shall be able to sort them out. Maybe it's mainly my liver instigating my anger, upset and frustration. I doubt it, though. And yet, what the fuck do I know? My brain feels cramped.

My face's skin is of poor quality, what with its propensity for redness and flakiness, as it is currently experiencing yet again. I can't stay asleep at night because of the deep, searing pain of my body. And there are many other life turds. Many shitty ordeals. Makes me wonder what's the point of going on. I have to, of course, but it's most annoying.

People - well, most of them - are, in general, arseholes. And genuinely stupid. I'm more intelligent and self-aware than the majority of people and that, all considered, is not saying much. We are all, let's be honest, pathetic little shits. We need to feel loved. We yearn to be respected and well-paid, and considered attractive and talented. Grr! Emotions are crap! Pathetic! The whole matter makes me sick and it makes me angry. I wish I had no conscience and could just kill people but, of course, because I do have a conscience, which it is right for humans to have, I don't really wish that.

In the fig tree in the backyard a bird's nest has fallen down and all the eggs are smashed upon the ground. We are supposed to think that this is not bad because nature is supposedly neither good nor bad.

Hmmph!

I wonder if I'll die in the coming bird 'flu pandemic?