Announcing: The Engagement of Shantoozy and Edels

Now a few words to honour this occasion (that had, by the way, taken eight years in development, planning and sitting looking vague on the shelf, which itself looked vaguely uncomfortable under the weight of it all).

This event had been dubbed:

Mr. Edels makes an honest woman of Shantoozy.

Rumour has it that on a cool and rainy New Years Day in 2006 Edels took Shantoozy for a walk to a small, yet romantic, park in Brunswick, Victoria. The scene was one of beauty and romance, and there Edels got down on one knee and asked Shantoo to marry him, presenting her with a white gold, half-carat blue-diamond ring (and then asked her to wash the knee of his trouser leg when they get home). (See photos - of the ring, not the knee, and not any body part kind of ring either - unlike the knee, let's keep this clean!) Shantoo, of course, said, “Yes” (the fool!). They then went out for a romantic dinner to their favourite (cheap) restaurant. When asked to comment on the proposal, they both agreed, “It was very beautiful”. (Edels blushes.)

Six months later, to the day, the official engagement party was held in sunny Queensland (unfortunately that's where it was) on the Gold Coast at Shantoo’s Mother’s home. Yes, the Family Edels and the Family Shantoozy were drawn together for the first time. Although conspicuously missing was Shantoo’s little sister and bridesmaid, Cherry, who was in hot pursuit of Scottish love in the Himalayas at the time but was able to call and well-wish the happy couple. Also, Edels’ best high school friends (rumoured to both be ‘best men’) ("And believe me, it is only a rumour!" - Edels), Chilly Coldwoman and The Bru, also turned up for this momentous event.

The highlights of the evening included the early arrival and departure of the S, T & M team, Edels parents being generally charming, that bore Kelvinator (Shantoo’s other sister’s pseudo-partner) falling asleep in an armchair, Aunt Bezzy not being the star of the party despite her status as some kind of dethroned silent movie royal, and Chilly Coldwoman (straight man) getting drunk enough to pash (French kiss) The Bru (gay man). The Bru ended up having to push Coldwoman off him!

In all, Edels and Shantoo report that “It was a very fun and silly, yet momentous, evening.”

...So there you have it, folks. It's too late for me now, and perhaps that's why this post was so late itself in appearing! Hee-hee-hee!

"Can You Speak Bocce?"

"Late Again?"

"Yes, late again. Sorry."

"You've been late with posting afresh a bit lately, Idyller!"

"I know. I said sorry, though."

"Yes, well ... You'll be late to your own funeral!"

"Ha, yes, I recently had a dream where, from as best as I can recall, I had died and become a ghost and was in a flustered state because I was literally running late to attend my own funeral. When I finally arrived at my grave, the funeral was almost over and I was feeling depressed that I hadn't gotten to hear what was said about me there."

"Was that a mere dream, or a premonition of the future?"

"Um ..."

... I am in Brisbane at the moment. Shantoozy and I flew into Surfer's Paradise ... well, Coolangatta airport, to be pedantic ... last Tuesday afternoon. Her Mum lives on the Gold Coast. We had a big party on Saturday but more about that soon (i.e.: in my next post). We are now at Shantoozy's sister's place. I call her sister "Turk". It is an abbreviative from "Turkey". She gets nervous when Thanksgiving rolls around and she and I happen to be in the same city together and I have a grumbling belly.

Brisbane is a crummy city in many respects. I grew up here, although I wasn't born here, and I left it because of its crumminess. For one thing, it is too close to the sun. Turk's books' spines are faded and, depite that it is Winter, one has to wear sunglasses outside because of the intense glare of the sun's laser beam bombardments. It is Winter, and yet I have experienced sweating during the daytime! This is not quite right. Not quite right at all, I tells ya!

Here's another thing, a most odd thing, but indicative, I feel, of the state of the people of this wretched place. I went to several cafes today looking to purchase a cup of fair trade coffee. One's waitress knew what it was but wasn't sure if they served it; none of the others knew what I was saying. "What?" asked one chap, "Filtered coffee?" "No," I replied, "FAIR TRADE coffee." "Fair trade coffee?" he said, "Never heard of it, mate." I explained at one cafe that fair trade coffee was actually coffee which was ethical, and at another cafe that it was non-exploitative, but they looked at me like the bartender in the Mos Eisley cantina who said of C-3PO and R2-D2, "We don't serve their kind in here!" as though I were C-3PO and had just spoken some Bocce to them, or another of the many alien tongues programmed into my droidal memory banks.

More from this 'hive of scum and villainy' real soon, folks!