Amazingly Delicious, Deliciously Amusing

I’m feeling happier now, thankfully. I’m feeling good, in fact.

Tonight (well, technically last night now, for it is past 2:00 AM as I write this) we went to dinner for Hissy Kitty’s birthday at a most amazing vegetarian restaurant. It’s called "Enlightened Cuisine". It’s at Southbank. It’s a Chinese vegetarian restaurant where they serve fake versions of duck, chicken, lamb, beef, prawns, crab, fish, and even shark fin soup (which we had and which was delicious – in fact, I believe we tried all the “meat”s except the crab), along with regular tofu and vegetable dishes and what-not. It’s basically for people who like the taste and texture of meat but don’t like to eat it for ethical reasons, and for those vegetarians who just want to try something novel. Seriously, the food is as nice as any similar food I can recall ever eating that contained real meat. The service was fantastic, too. Highly recommended.

I should also mention that Shantoozy took Hissy Kitty on the “Neighbours” tour, where you go in a little bus filled with British backpackers to visit Ramsey Street and other places around town where they film the show. It’s a ridiculous show, of course, and these two loonies are into it and had a jolly good time being intentionally ludicrous by taking this tour. They got to meet Harold Bishop AKA Ian Smith, who was one of the top handful of actors they’d hoped to meet. Shantoo said to him, “I’ve heard you would bring porn onto the set.” This shocked the attendant Brits, apparently. Ian replied that, no, he didn’t, then going on to confirm, however, that he is a dirty old man who eats meat, smokes, drinks and womanises (unlike the vegetarian, prudishly Christian Harold). Shantoo then went on to explain that what she’d meant was that she’d heard that he used to bring pornographic photos onto the set and hide them in places like drawers and such where they wouldn’t be seen on film but would certainly be seen by the actor opening the drawer while acting their silly character. It seems like it’s probably true, but of course he didn’t want to admit it at the official “Neighbours” tour. Hehe, deliciously amusing, however.

Back 'N' Black

Well, my birthday came and went, as they are wont to do, and a slurpy-lipped thank-you to everyone for their wonderful pressies – and company, of course – but especially the pressies! Hawww-hawww! That was last month. Fuck, I’m a slack-buttocked entity!

Well, life has been moving along and I find myself intermittently surprised by the fact that my heart is still beating and I’m still breathing; I read the signals and know that I am still alive. Some moments have been good, others have been mighty crappy - such as they are just now, but I hope the down-ness ‘off’s itself soon and so ups the anti-depressive quantities of my existence on this calamitous globe, which is what it has always seemed to do when my horizons have been grey-skied and bleak. I am back here with a new post but - bleggghhh! - I’m not a ‘happy camper’ at the moment. In fact, if and when I do become happy again, if I had to go camping I'd slump right back down again, but, because this sentence is largely irrelevant, I advise you to not have read it. A-hem. (...a sleeve, a cuff, a leather-patched elbow on a cordouroy jacket...)

Well (yep, that’s three of ‘em in a row now – perhaps I should begin every sentence I ever write from now on with a ‘Well’ – or not, actually, for it would be stupid),…

Well, I recently had my audition to appear on ABC TV as a contestant on “The Einstein Factor” – subject: the life and films of Charlie Chaplin – and the other day received a confirmation telephone call, letting me know I’ve been accepted and that my episode shall be recorded in April. Now, those of you who read Rupert’s blog will, of course, recall that he appeared on this same program last year espousing on the subject of Errol Flynn. (Also like Rupert, I have been asked to be a stand-by contestant for a couple of tapings before my own comes up – which is good, as I could do with the money they toss one for these little endeavours.) I remember that neither of us were too surprised at the time that he got accepted, being that his subject was one of Australia’s greatest movie stars (if not, indeed, its greatest) – this is what made it such a clever idea of his to apply for the show, knowing they'd raise a patriotic flag to his idea (although, a cocaine-dappled erection would have been more appropriate to raise, but, hey, it's a family program) – yet I didn’t really think that they would be too keen to go for Chaplin as a subject – after all, isn’t he some English banana-peel-slipper from the dayes of yore, before our primordial ancestors evolved ears? – however, Barry at the studio said he thought it was an excellent subject and seemed genuine in his interest, even discussing with me the problematics of Richard Attenborough’s “Chaplin” biopic, and wondering if Sir Charles was a good person or not (which, doubtless, he was - a strange angel, in fact). I shall let youse know when my episode will be broadcast.

Well, there’s more I could say right now but I won’t. This is due to tiredness. Tiredness eventually makes one sleep. I shall be one of those ‘one’s, therefore, and trundle off now to slumberland. Nighty-night, dear reader.

I may not be happy but at least I am tired.